Day 2

I forgot how long a day fasting is. I am always amazed to notice how much more time I have when I’m not preparing, consuming or thinking about food very much. In that spaciousness I think the other elements of the fast, the fast of the senses and limbs. I think in years past I would watch tv shows that I thought were docile enough (Amazing Race anyone?) but as I’ve matured, I’ve become less interested in reading news or watching things to pass the time. Sometimes I would says things like “well, I have to stay informed of what’s going on in the world,” and proceed to read upsetting stories. Why? What if we were to really take on this month as a month of retreat in Allah? What comes up if I think of not reading the news everyday or finding something to fill my time? What comes up if I think of using that time to consciously be with Allah more than I usually am, to pray more or to take a walk (very very slowly mind you)? My first response is something like “ahhhhh! uh…” Fear followed by a feeling of ineptitude somehow. I am a Jin Shin Jyutsu practioner and my teachers always say “We are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS!” In American society there is such emphasis on doing. To live in that spotlight so much of time can make it hard to remember simply that we are, and to live in that space. Being with Allah consciously requires no effort and that is exactly why all the time fasting creates can be a challenge. So, today my aim is to BE a little more.